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"Dad, I love you. Come and give me a hug."
Paul and Alison Frase were on top of the world. They were young, beautiful and enjoying the good life in New York City.
Paul was a star defensive end for the New York Jets professional football team. He and Alison had only been married a few years before their lives took an unexpected turn. They became parents.
But this was no ordinary pregnancy, because their child was no ordinary child. During Alison's pregnancy, doctors discovered a birth defect, (a birth defect is a physical abnormality some children are born with). Paul and Alison did not know what to expect, but they made a decision to put things into God's hands and to follow his plan as best they could. They named him Joshua.
Shortly after his birth, Joshua was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit where he was not expected to survive. He is now 15 years old, but his life is a tenuous one. "There have been many times when we thought his time was up," said Paul. "Many times we simply held him and prayed that he would continue to live."
Joshua is now a member of the National Honor Society. Everyday his father takes him to school, places him in a gurney, and a school nurse takes him to his classes. This is startling because one would not expect a person with an underdeveloped to have such an active interior life.
However his awareness is also a mixed blessing for a 15 year-old dealing with adolescent self-consciousness. But love conquers all. Their family has grown. Joshua's younger sister Isabella treats him just like any other brother. Paul says "They compete at Playstation, - and argue like any other siblings." says Paul.
This 'normalcy' was once pointed out to Paul by a young man suffering with cerebral palsy. "The boy had a spelling board, and he asked me if I knew any other handicapped people," said Paul. "I told him about Joshua, and he responded with the message 'Treat him like he's normal, and spank him when he's bad.'"
Nevertheless Joshua's impact upon his family has been anything but normal. He has had a profound impact on his family. "It hasn't been easy," says Paul. "We cannot do a lot of things most people do on the spur of the moment. Simply leaving the house is a major operation." Nevertheless their decision to give him a fighting chance at life has made all the difference in their life. "All the things Alison and I once thought were so important, are not really that important after all," he said. "When he says to me 'Dad, I love you. Come here and give me a hug.' The love we share is greater than anything else I might have enjoyed without him."
They have started a foundation dedicated to finding a cure for children suffering from Joshua's condition. They are really doing some remarkable things in partnership with the Harvard University Medical Center. Please visit the website at: www.joshuafrase.org.
Recent update to this article:
Paul Frase recently emailed me to tell me that their son Joshua passed away on Christmas Eve - just days after our interview. Paul had this to say:
"Not sure if you've heard - we lost Joshua on Christmas eve. We wouldn't change anything in the last 15 years for the world. Choose life. - Paul"
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